Labeling matters?
- Iliana Lanuza
- 1 jun 2023
- 5 Min. de lectura
They not only influence how a personal identity is created but also allow for recognition that others have different qualities. They aid people in understanding differences in needs, culture, and personalities. Labels can also reflect positive characteristics, set useful expectations, and provide meaningful goals.
Welcome to "Kitchen and Letters," my blog.
Recently, I decided to test myself on a dating app. Although initially exciting and engaging, it can also get repetitive and tiresome. Having grown up in San Miguel, I get asked the same question repeatedly - "Where are you from?" Even though I was born here and have lived here all my life, I don't look Mexican. San Miguel is known for its foreign community. The foreign community makes up only 10-15% of the population, with the majority falling within the 50-70 age range. Looking like a Mexican doesn't mean being Mexican is limited to having dark skin and being short. Having Spanish and French influence in our culture, we must understand that we come in all colors and sizes, as in most globalized places. We must realize how little we know about being Mexican. My mother's side of the family isn't entirely Mexican, but I was born here and have lived most of my life here, which should make me Mexican enough.
However, I still get asked that question constantly, which can be frustrating. During a recent interaction with someone on a dating app, I snapped and sarcastically replied that I'd be a millionaire if I had a dollar for every time someone had asked me that question. I'm still relatively young, and the foreign community in San Miguel only accounts for 10% of the population. After a short while, he responded by stating, "I've only visited San Miguel once, and it appeared to cater primarily to the foreign community. Based on your height, blonde hair, and English profile, I ASSUMED you were American." Why do we feel that with one visit or meeting the person once we know a bit about them? I wrote ASSUMED in capital letters because we assume we get many things wrong.
The continuation of questions like this made me wonder, why do we HAVE to label people to understand where we stand? Yes, every day, we present ourselves to others:
Hello, my name is ... I do... I work... I have... and so on. Of we go on our day.
I was deeply affected this time. Is it true that we cannot change who we are and what lies beneath us? Though it has provided countless opportunities, it has closed many doors like everyone else. We have our unique appearance, and while we can make some alterations, I'm not innocent in choosing people based on their looks. However, I am always open to changing my perspective. I don't start conversations by highlighting something obvious. I stand out from the crowd, especially when I meet someone fascinating. I understand the purpose of these apps and use them to keep myself sharp. I'm dedicating a lot of time to work and building a future for myself, so I only can interact with people who pass a certain standard. What question can push you over the edge? What's the "thing" you've been living with that you're tired of explaining to new people?
In the past, I chose to live in a foreign country to experience what it's like to be an outsider, something I've always felt. However, I decided to return home because of my family. In the end, many of us come from different backgrounds; most come from distant places and don't live where we were born.
What is the reason for labeling individuals?
People tend to label others based on their actions or appearance to make sense of their behaviors and situations. However, this can limit our understanding of others and prevent us from discovering more about them. When we make assumptions about someone based on their outward appearance, our assessments may not be accurate. For example, someone may not be dressed nicely because they have yet to have time to do laundry, or they may look especially put together because they just came from a meeting. We shouldn't assume that someone is always good or bad based on our expectations. Instead, we should try to understand individuals' stories and experiences as unique beings.
In today's world, labels and tags have become commonplace. They make it easier to locate the information we need. Tags can be especially helpful when searching for articles, restaurants, or places to visit. With our busy schedules and limited patience, we even tag people to save time and avoid unwanted situations. Labeling has helped us reduce time and use it for things and people that we are more likely to match with others. Do you ever have certain expectations of people or situations that end up wrong? I know I have, and sometimes I even choose to stay quiet about it if I have to. But when it comes to finding a partner, the stakes are higher. Is it necessary to label people? Looking as a foreigner, I often wonder if my appearance alone makes men have certain expectations of me. It all depends on their exposure to different cultures and their attitudes towards them. So, what does it mean to belong to a specific place truly?
Do we still believe that being with someone from a different culture or background automatically improves us? Is this always true, or is it simply a preference for some who only date those who look different from them? When it comes to dating, whether online or in person, our choices are influenced by our surroundings. I have mistakenly labeled my preferences based on past experiences and reactions rather than on looks or age.
My judgment is more accurate in certain areas, which is why I am currently trying out online dating. However, I am not expecting anything and am simply test-driving the experience while learning about online dating. If I meet someone great, that's a bonus, but my main focus is understanding this new area better.
Meeting someone in person changes the perspective entirely. When communicating solely through technology, hiding behind a screen and text is easy. While most of us strive to be transparent, there is something that computers can never replace: the power and energy of a connection made when meeting someone in person. It's when we can genuinely understand and label our feelings.
In the past, written letters allowed us to gain insight into someone's personality through their handwriting and the paper they used. Similarly, meeting someone in person helps us gain a better understanding of who they indeed are.
In summary, when is it appropriate to label individuals? How long does it take to understand someone's character truly? Will we ever cease labeling people to make ourselves more comfortable around them? This post is filled with inquiries, as I aim to probe why we tend to distance ourselves from others when setting boundaries. Are boundaries meant to aid us in figuring out what we want, or are they intended to keep others at bay? Is labeling necessary for us to learn about our desires and needs? Over time, many of these questions will be answered. I encourage you to refrain from labeling individuals and to ask more questions.
If you have answers to these questions, please share and like this post. I invite you to be curious, look at other posts; there might be another subject you are interested in
I look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Iliana
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