The difficulties of living alone lie more on a societal level, outside personal decision-making. For one thing, having a partner makes big and small expenditures much more affordable, whether it's a down payment on a house, rent, daycare, utility bills, or other overhead costs of daily life.
Can you tell me the distinction between eating solo and feeling lonely?
Hello, Welcome to my blog, "Kitchen and Letters."
As the school year comes to an end, I reflect on my second year of teaching, which has been a completely different experience from the previous year. I am more comfortable with my decision to change schools and how this school year unfolded. With fewer students, I have had the opportunity to spend quality time getting to know them and tailor my teaching approach to their needs and preferences. I have built great connections with my school students and even with my afternoon students. This year has been all about single classes that I can customize to the preferences of my students, except when I teach at the restaurant where I have a group class twice a week. It's always a pleasure to be there and teach adults.
This year has also been one of solitude for me.
I live alone with my dogs, I share part of my apartment with my brother, but I see very little of him. My social circle has been limited to one-on-one conversations with one other friend or my parents.
While sitting down to write, I realized that I've naturally transitioned into a routine where I spend most of my time alone. Growing up, we're taught to connect with others, but what if we only connect with one person? And with the internet, our connections can happen online. This year has taught me that being alone doesn't mean being lonely, and it takes time to adjust to this experience. We're told all our lives that we MUST share our lives with others, but we share our lives with many people in different ways - from the person at the shop to friends online. I've always known I need a lot of time to myself, so I sometimes cancel plans with others to have some "me time." I enjoy watching what I want, walking my dogs, eating my favorite foods, and cleaning. I need at least one-third of the day of my time to myself.
Recently, I have come to accept the idea of staying alone longer.
I have had several relationships that have left me feeling drained. I enjoy the experience of shopping for food, cooking it, and eating it by myself. Since I was a teenager, buying the food I want has been one of my pleasures, and cooking adds even more value to the experience. I love the process of adding ingredients, understanding textures, and smelling the food. Even if it doesn't turn out perfectly, I learn from it, even the simplest dishes. It does not matter how the food turns out to be; I always enjoy what I cook.
I typically only eat out once a week or twice if I'm having a good week. I buy bread and other snacks more frequently but stick to a budget of only dining out once a week. I am very particular about my chosen restaurants and will take out or dine in. For me, restaurants are like a second or third home. I have spent significant time in them throughout my life and feel very comfortable there. As a single person, I am often asked whether I prefer to cook or eat out. I also get asked if I think happy eating by myself. The truth is that we have been sold the idea of eating in front of the tv as depressing, but now we have the image of people eating together and looking at their phones or the tv. I do not have that, I look at the tv, yes, but I also share it with my dogs, and even when it is not the same when I have people over or cook for others, I enjoy cooking for myself. There is no expectation when eating alone; I wouldn't say I like washing the dishes, but I have come to terms with it too.
Historical records show that this ‘rise of living alone’ started in early-industrialized countries over a century ago, accelerating around 1950. In countries such as Norway and Sweden, single-person households were rare a century ago, but today they account for nearly half of all households. In some cities they are already the majority.
I have come to terms with the whole idea of being alone.
Eating alone was never a question because I love to eat and cook what I eat; eating alone is one of the experiences I have been doing independently for a long time. I enjoyed eating out. I remember that the only time alone that I had when I worked in London at a restaurant was that one going next door to Mezzo to Busaba Thai, choosing a table a the window and having those precious moments with myself, not answering phones, not smiling and talking to people and being polite. Eating alone in a restaurant on a busy street allows me to observe people, understand them, look around, and, more importantly, enjoy that peaceful time with me. I know this sounds like a cliche, but eating out alone is one of those things that I do not limit myself. Going out for a drink is a different story. That could be the thing with me; my job entitles me to be always friendly, and I work in front of people or kids all the time. I have done this type of work all my life, so going home to an "empty" house is a joy. I don't give up easily. When I have been in relationships and this has been disrupted, I feel more drained than usual.
Many people believe eating alone is a lonely experience.
Food is meant to be shared; I agree that sharing food makes us human. I have based my life work and study on understanding the academics behind why we share food and how food has shaped our Society, and because of it, too, I get the freedom and the liberty to choose to do it differently. I know the ins and outs of sharing and loving food, but my alone time with food is precious. Sharing food with others should be taken seriously; we should not share anything from food to ourselves with others lightly. Especially the older we get, the more we know ourselves and others. The older we are, the less time we have, and the more we appreciate and value time, with that time well spent and shared with others should be a magical experience; if it is not done this way, being alone is not being lonely, is a religious experience that takes time to master.
Our Society has conditioned us to believe that being alone without kids means there's something wrong with us.
However, I've come to realize that this belief is invalid. I choose to spend time alone and only share my life with those whom I choose. Although only about 10% of Mexicans live alone, I prefer to be a part of this statistic rather than being in a relationship to avoid loneliness.
Living alone as a single person comes with its challenges. Living independently can be more costly as all household expenses fall on one person. Additionally, there is no one to share household chores with or place blame on. What are your thoughts on dining solo? Do you currently live independently?
During breakfast, I shared my ideas with my mom.
She mentioned that eating alone is more common now than when she was growing up. As we sat at a restaurant, we observed people sharing a meal, but not a conversation, as they were immersed in their phones. However, we always take the opportunity to talk, and I forget about my phone when I am with my parents. It feels great to have quality time together.
It would be greatly appreciated if you could share, comment, and like this post. Additionally, I invite you to read my previous posts.
With love,
Iliana
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